Soma:   What should we talk about?

El:   Either something to warm up (a lesson) or some chat.

http://halbennett.blogspot.com/2010/12/elliot-with-soma-9232010.html

( link to a video of Elliot pointing to spell the above phrase — it is a private blog at HALO’s request — email us at hgeesbennett@pol.net if you want to view it, and we’ll give you permission to do so)

Soma and Elliot’s discussions were on the topics of: Tito (Soma’s son), Portia  (who Elliot met at surf camp), God, the Tea Party, the recession,  El starting a business, the conservation of matter – the Big Bang Theory vs. Steady State theory,  the weather, running, relationships,  Afghanistan and the following:

z

G:    Why are you so OK with autism?

El:   It is me.

zzzizIt is mood swing that worries me.

G:    Tell me more.

El:   I don’t know the reason.

G:    Why do you like us to read to you so much?

El:   It is calming.

G:    Do you like the information? the stories?

El:   Yes.

G:    What is calming about it?

El:   I can just hear.

G:    What did you think of our run last evening?

El:   Hot and hot.

G:    Am I too slow to run with?

El:   Little.

I think it is good to be slow sometimes.

G:    How was surf camp? reading with Erin?

El:   It was magic.

G:    What was magic about it?

El:   It was two weeks of my life with sun and sea.

s

Elliot loves to play with words. Much of his verbal language is word play. Here is an example of word play with Soma:

E:    It is in Wisconsin.

zzziiIt is sin.

G:    What does that mean? it is sin?

E:    It rhymes.

E:    Texas can be taxes.

a

Conversation continues:

Soma: I like the word Texas… stylish… cowboys…

E:    I don’t see cowboys here.

I think I can’t stand animal smell.

Is it healthy to smell animal?

z

A  short story

It was a small town.

The weather was fine.

The streets were not yet busy

because it was too early for people to go to work.

A young boy with his dog

was jogging around.

He had to run because his habit was running.

Running made him look normal.

Running made him forget that

there was anything wrong

with him.

He wanted to be the best runner

in the world.

The dog was a good company.

The boy looked at nothing but

his feet.

He ran faster and faster.

And, finally stopped at a

post office.

He liked post offices.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzEnd

A  short story

Loneliness accompanied me

while I sat

under a tree.

My dog who was my best friend

died last winter.

We used to run together and,

now it is too quiet.

A man approached me

and sat next to me.

He did not talk like me.

He did not ask me why I felt

bad.

We sat there for a long time.

When I got up, he got up too.

He began to follow me home.

I began to run; he did it too.

He was barking “woof, woof.”

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzEnd

z

G:    Sami is going to college next year. You could go for a semester somewhere or just keep doing what we’re doing – taking frequent trips. Which would you like?

El:   I have to think about it. I have to see how I can have most fun.

El:   Trips are fun.

zzzziI hope life is a trip.

x

I want to do a story.

This boy was not safe because he was in Haiti when there was the earthquake. His family was worried because his news was still unknown. After five days, the rescue team gave up searching.  He was thought to be dead.

Several days passed by. He was seen in Hawaii. He had no memory of his former life. A family identified him and reported him to the cops.

He was brought to a brain scientist. This scientist invented a technology that could tap the mind and show what was going on. He sat with the scientist’s instrument.

He was sucked inside the earth and he resurfaced at Hawaii.

He had to undergo therapy to bring his memory back.

End

xx

xx

Culture of Elliot

Elliot is what people call me. I call myself many names. Sometimes I am Neil. Sometimes I am Patrick in black.

I don’t mind being lonely. I don’t mind having autism. What I mind is how people react to autism.

Nobody can make anyone happy because everyone has his own way to be happy.

I am in between, neither happy nor sad.

End

G:    What don’t you like – how people react to autism?

El:   Just thinking it is disease.

G:    What do you think it is?

El:   It’s just me.

This man happened to be in a car wreck. He was not sure why it was so bright around him. When he looked around he saw new faces with friendly eyes. He realized he was in heaven. He was happy to meet his friends who were dead. Some of them were his childhood friends. They never grew in heaven.
Soon he began to grow sad. He had his family back on earth. He went up to God and asked if he could go back to them. He was not sure how he would meet them. He had no real body. His body was gone!
He asked God if he could bring them up. One night he scared his wife to death. She died and went to heaven. He in turn went to hell. He was not ready for this surprise.
Question – can one commit a crime after death?

z

Human beings are most dangerous. Human beings control the earth. They become very aggressive when they begin to occupy other areas that are natural habitats of creatures who don’t realize their rights. Most human beings are not sensible toward other living things. It does not end there.
Men do not respect each other. Most men don’t know about the trouble that others have to undergo when it comes to health care.
People have turned self-centered.

Over (Elliot spells “end” or “over” when he is finished)

z

There was an apple on a tree. It was unusual. It had a face that could talk. It would talk to people in a strange language that no one knew about. It would laugh if people got confused.
It was laughing at a group of men when the king was passing by. The king saw the apple for the first time. He wanted the apple for himself. He plucked the apple but, the apple bit his hand and he had to leave the place.
The apple lived for many years happily.

End

z

Children’s Story

A wild fox was hiding behind a bush.
He was waiting for a red hen to pass by.
He saw her coming toward the bush.
When she was close enough he came outside and asked her to hand over her chicks to him.
He said they should grow strong like a fox so that they can fight foxes if necessary. The red hen trusted the fox and handed her chicks to him.
A week later, they met again.
The hen wanted to see how her chicks “are” doing.
The fox took her to his home and showed his cubs to her.
“These are your chicks.
See how strong they have grown?” said the fox.
Now she was happy that her chicks were as strong as a fox.

End

Moral – some people want to trust everyone no matter what.

G:     Do you want to say more about it?
E:     No, I don’t like the situation.
S:     Now, what to talk about?
E:     Most of my (time) I think about these situations.
G:     Does this apply to your life?
E:     No, but I trust everyone.

z

Group Session

Andrew:   I want to talk about life.

Alex:         Life is gift from God.

Elliot:       You can use it for so long.

Andrew:   I wanted to say – living with autism.

Alex:         It is no use feeling sad.

Elliot:        It is good to enjoy it.

Andrew:  Most of my time is being spent on thinking about life.

Alex:          You must like philosophy.

Elliot:        I like to deal with life as fun.

Andrew:  How is your fun?

Alex:         It depends on how we look at it.

Elliot:        I have fun running and watching sports.

Andrew:  That is good to know.

Alex:         How about Christmas?

Elliot:        I would like to spend Christmas in Alaska.

Andrew:  I am not happy so I don’t have a choice but, celebrate.

Alex:        This Christmas I want to help and have a cause.

Elliot:       It is interesting to know you are so different.

Andrew:  I am not commenting. I am being realistic.

Alex:         You are being pessimistic.

Elliot:        I am being escapist.

Andrew:  You are escaping from life.

Alex:          Let’s change topic.

Elliot:         We can talk about health care.

Andrew:  I don’t think it matters to me.

Alex:         I am republican. I don’t support it.

Elliot:       Even if most people would be covered?

Andrew:  I don’t know much about it.

Soma talks about the difficulty getting Tito covered because of preexisting conditions.

Alex:          Isn’t it covered now?

Elliot:        It is not democrat vs. republican.

Andrew:  Most democrats … (Andrew is unable to finish. He is having
zzzzzzzzzdifficulty pointing)

Alex:         How do you like settling in Austin?

Elliot:        I may when Dad wishes to join here.

Andrew:  It is good Mom and Dad both work.

Alex:         It is good to be together.

Elliot:       I am hoping to start some new kinds of sport.

Andrew:  I am not into sports.

Alex:         I am not.

Elliot:       Tennis.

Elliot:zzzzI think it is good to begin my story.

zzzzzz Scene 1

Elliot:zzzzIt is a mall. People are shopping for Christmas.
zzzzzzzzzThen there is music in (the) background. There
zzzzzzzzzare gift stores and toy stores.
zzzzzzzzzFor first three minutes it shows only the feet of
zzzzzzzzzpeople. Slowly the camera follows one pair of feet.
zzzzzzzzzThe music fades and it holds a stim sound of a
zzzzzzzzznon-verbal autistic boy who is trying to sing Jingle
zzzzzzzzzBells but, he can’t say the words.
zzzzzzzzzHe has three companions. One is a man who is
zzzzzzzzzholding his hands. That man is a foster dad. There
zzzzzzzzzare two other foster siblings, who are both autistic
zzzzzzzzzbut, they are verbal like Mason (Mason is from
zzzzzzzzzgroup). They are doing their talking about food.
zzzzzzzzzThey are basically requesting to eat. The first one
zzzzzzzzzis Jacob. He is twelve. Second one is Jud. He is six.

Soma: zzz And the third one?

Elliot: zzzzHe is Luke.

Soma: zzz How old is he?

Elliot: zzzz Jud’s twin.

Soma: zzz Then what happened? Did the foster dad say anything?

Elliot:zzzzThe foster dad is not very patient. He is trying to
zzzzzzzzzrush them to a toy shop. His voice is not very clear
zzzzzzzzzbecause the music begins again as Jacob rocks in
zzzzzzzzzthe store. Jacob is looking at the floor. He is not
zzzzzzzzzvery interested in toys. Jud and Luke want toys
zzzzzzzzzand their words are not clearly heard.
zzzzzzzzzJacob suddenly screams! And, all eyes look at him.
zzzzzzzzzHe closes his ears and shuts his eyes. He is too
zzzzzzzzzscared to move. He is frozen in his place.
zzzzzzzzzThe foster dad’s hand gently holds him and they
zzzzzzzzzleave the mall without buying anything. The twins
zzzzzzzzzfollow them singing Jingle Bells.

zzzzzzIt is one of those movies that will make everyone think.

Group Session – Friday, July 31, 2009

Elliot:zzzzzI am anxious.
zzzzzzzzzz(lots of transitions, negotiating with multiple people)

Andrew (from Houston):
zzzzzzzzzzzI had my session just now.

Francesco (from London–looks just like Harry Potter!) :
zzzzzzzzzzzIt is nice to meet you.

Elliot: zzzz I am Elliot.  I like football.

Andrew: zz I am Andrew.  I like to observe people.

Francesco: I am Francesco.  I like poetry.

Elliot: zzzzIt is hot in Texas.

Andrew: zzI visited Arizona.

Francesco: I am going to Grand Canyon.

Elliot: zzzzI go to places, but I get too distracted.

Andrew:zz I get distracted too.

Francesco: I tend to be so quiet with my voice.

Soma: zzzzWhen you go to places?

Francesco: Yes.

Soma to Elliot: You said “I go places, but I get too distracted.”
zzzzzzzzzzzDistracted with what?

Elliot: zzzzWith my own thoughts, that I miss many things.

Soma to Andrew: You said “I get distracted too.”
zzzzzzzzzzzDistracted with what?

Andrew: zzWith one thing and later realize it.

Soma to Francesco: You said “I tend to be quiet.”
zzzzzzzzzzzWhat else?

Francesco:  It is hard to know what to say.

Elliot: zzzzIt is right, hard to know what to say.

Andrew:zz I can’t even do what I am supposed to do.

Francesco: Most of the time I get stuck.

Elliot: zzzzIt is easy to think it than doing it.

Andrew: zzMuch of my time is spent in imagining.

Francesco:  I am not so lucky.  I just feel scared.

Elliot: zzzzI am lucky my family understands.

Andrew: zzLet’s start a topic.

Francesco: It is better for Elliot to start.

Elliot: zzzzHow about bowling.

Andrew: zzI am bad at aiming.

Francesco: I can try it together with you.

Elliot: zzzzI am good with all sorts of sports.

Andrew: zzIf I had no autism, I would have played golf.

Francesco:  I wish I could learn tennis.

Soma: zzzzYou can handle it. You need a coach and a coach can
zzzzzzzzzzzteach you.

Elliot: zzzzMy dad and I run together.

Andrew: zzRunning is too much work.

Francesco:  Do you go to gym?

Elliot: zzzzIt is good to exercise.

Andrew: zzNew topic please.

Francesco:  How about having an outing together?

Elliot: zzzzzI can take you guys to my hotel and swim.

Andrew: zzThat sounds good. .

Francesco:  Texas is a swimming state (because it is) hot.

Soma to Elliot (who has his head down on the table):
zzzzzzzzzzzDon’t fall asleep.

Elliot: zzzzI am not sleeping.  I am resting.

Andrew: zzI don’t sleep well even at night.

Francesco: Since the time is up, I will take leave.

Elliot with Soma – Friday, July 31, 2009

Soma: zzz…subject that you choose or we do some constructive
zzzzzzzzzrthing like creative writing to begin with.

Elliot: zzzI was hoping to chat.

Soma: zzzLet’s see, the chatting topic would be on what?

Elliot: zzz Most of my ideas now are about my purpose of
zzzzzzzzzlife. Why is it hard for me to know what I am
zzzzzzzzzsupposed to do?  If I don’t have my schedule, I
zzzzzzzzzcan’t know anything about my day.

Soma continues to offer Elliot the letter board to see if he wants to say more. Up until now, Soma would usually remove the letterboard after each of his sentences. This time, she is allowing him as many sentences as he wants until he is finished and ready for her to respond.

Elliot: zzz Your turn to answer.

Soma: zzz There are so many happenings that happen around
zzzzzzzzzus-  and, our schedule keeps your mind a little
zzzzzzzzzorganized – all these happenings are unpredictable –
zzzzzzzzzand, like that predictable – many people like to keep
zzzzzzzzzschedules because it is more – you can keep track.
zzzzzzzzzEven typical people like schedules.

Elliot: zzz Can others get anxious about their schedules?

Soma: zzz Yes. Many children get anxious. Many others get
zzzzzzzzzanxious about their schedules.

Elliot: zzz Wait till I tell you a story.

Soma: zzz Oh, this will be an interesting thing.

Elliot: zzz When I was small, I thought people around me
zzzzzzzzzfelt anxious or happy like me, all at once. So if I
zzzzzzzzzlaughed, I expected everyone to laugh. But people
zzzzzzzzzdid not laugh like I did. Then I began to
zzzzzzzzzunderstand that I can’t rely on my own feelings to
zzzzzzzzzunderstand how others felt. Most of other human
zzzzzzzzzbeings did what they wanted. It was a pain
zzzzzzzzzlooking at their faces. I don’t like to look at faces
zzzzzzzzzthat have emotions that I don’t expect.

zzzzzzzzzNow I want to do some lesson, because I feel tired
zzzzzzzzzafter telling you so much.

Soma: zzz What would you like to do some lesson on – people?
zzzzzzzzzPlaces? Numbers?

Elliot: zzz How about some animal?

Soma: zzz Oh, OK. So it will be a total shift? What sort of
zzzzzzzzzanimal would you like to talk about? Animals that
zzzzzzzzzyou see around? Or, some animal that you don’t?

Elliot: zzz Anything.

Soma: zzz Well, so, how about sponges? Would you care to
zzzzzzzzzlisten to sponges? Those are animals but, you don’t
zzzzzzzzzsee them around.

Elliot: zzz We use them in bathrooms.

Soma: zzz Yes, exactly. We use them in bathrooms and
zzzzzzzzzcleaning and other things but, those are artificial
zzzzzzzzzsponges. We have real sponges. Sponges, for a long
zzzzzzzzztime, people thought they were plants because they
zzzzzzzzzgrew like plants. They were all garden of sponges
zzzzzzzzzbelow the sea.

Some goes on to deliver a beautiful lesson on sponges. She asks Elliot questions intermittently to make sure he is paying attention and understanding. He answers all the questions correctly.
When she finishes the lesson, she gets out a new piece of paper and says: “Now, this page should be what?”

Elliot: zzz Did you touch a sponge?

Soma: zzz Not a live one. Dead sponges, yeah. You can get
zzzzzzzzzthem – not a live one.

Elliot: zzz Can people grow them at home?

Soma: zzz They do grow in the Mediterranean Sea. They do not
zzzzzzzzzgrow well in the Gulf of Mexico, because the water
zzzzzzzzzthere is turbulent. You know, it is very difficult to
zzzzzzzzzgrow them even in a lab. It’s very difficult to grow
zzzzzzzzzthere because you need salt water, then you can’t see
zzzzzzzzzthem – water moving – warm – even in the Gulf of
zzzzzzzzzMexico. But, then the water is very turbulent in the
zzzzzzzzzGulf of Mexico compared to the Mediterranean.
zzzzzzzzzThese animals – they are very particular where they
zzzzzzzzzare grown.

Elliot: zzz I want to try growing them.

Soma: zzz That would be a good project. Yeah, we can try.

Elliot: zzz How nice to meet Francesco’s mom and sister.
zzzzzzzzz(They were at group.)

Soma: zzz Yes. They are planning to come back sometime
zzzzzzzzzNovember or something – sometime December, I
zzzzzzzzzthink. In case they come, I’ll let you know in case
zzzzzzzzzyou want to come too. If you really like them. Today
zzzzzzzzzyou could not get together. (They were leaving for
zzzzzzzzzthe Grand Canyon)

Elliot: zzz I liked Mason too.

Soma: zzz Yes, last time you came, Mason was there. You have
zzzzzzzzzfriends over here. Yes, he draws all these dinosaurs.

Elliot: zzz Can I ask a question?

Soma: zzz Yes, that would be good.  What sort of question
zzzzzzzzzwould you ask?

Elliot: zzz It’s sort of stupid question.

Soma: zzz Never mind, we’ll see that.  We don’t judge here.

Elliot: zzz Can I try to talk like Francesco? (Elliot is silent
zzzzzzzzzwhile he spells. Francesco states the letters as he
zzzzzzzzzpoints.)

Soma: zzzYeah, you can try and talk. Let me see.

Soma helps Elliot to state the letters as he spells. It does not go very smoothly.

Soma: zzzSee, you are getting distracted, right? You can try it
zzzzzzzzzslowly.

Elliot continues to try.

Elliot: zzz Can I talk? It looked so easy to watch him.

Soma: zzz Yes, you can talk but, you’re really distracted so, you
zzzzzzzzzcan practice it – little by little and, then you can do it.
zzzzzzzzzI’m sure you can do it.

Elliot: zzz My guess is he talks.

Soma: zzz See, being able to talk and actually talking is very
zzzzzzzzzdifferent. No, in fact, people around him complain
zzzzzzzzzthat he doesn’t talk. So, that is the thing  – because,
zzzzzzzzzhe’s very hesitant.

Elliot: zzz Most of human beings talk and expect others to
zzzzzzzzztalk.

Soma: zzz See, it is expectation. When it comes back to
zzzzzzzzzexpectation, right? Just like you liked things to be
zzzzzzzzzpredictable because that way it is easy to understand.

Elliot: zzz It is weird how they expect.

Soma: zzz Well, I think it is easy to expect and wish it to
zzzzzzzzzhappen that way. Otherwise, it becomes a big, big
zzzzzzzzzdisorganized thing.

Elliot: zzz I like to expect too.
zzzzzzzzzCan Lainey come with me and do a group? (Lainey
zzzzzzzzzis from Madison and saw Soma the same time Elliot
zzzzzzzzzdid last month – and, went to group)

Soma: zzz Sometimes we can plan something like that, if you’re
zzzzzzzzzinterested. Now, do you have a message to the world,
zzzzzzzzzmessage to mankind? A little while more you are
zzzzzzzzzgoing to work. (Work means this session with Soma.)
zzzzzzzzzI don’t want to make you anxious (by having too
zzzzzzzzzlong of a session. This session is longer than any
zzzzzzzzzprevious session.)

Elliot: zzz Do you begin in the morning?

Soma: zzz Yeah, we’ll begin in the morning like 9:00.

Elliot: zzz Good. I had to ask one more thing.

Soma: zzz Do you have any idea what?

Then Soma takes a short break and allows Matt (our clinician we brought to Austin with us to be trained by Soma) to do a lesson with Elliot. After his lesson, she resumes with what Elliot wanted to ask.

Soma: zzz What’s your next question? We were talking about
zzzzzzzzzyour next question.

Elliot: zzz Do all human beings expect and get anxious?

Soma: zzz Yes, it is a tendency for everyone, just as you could
zzzzzzzzzexpect. You are not an exception over here. These –
zzzzzzzzzthat – with some of us – we have learned some of the
zzzzzzzzzsocial skills to divert it so that it doesn’t show.

Elliot: zzz It is hard for me to stay calm when I have to wait.
zzzzzzzzzHow is it I am calm now?

Soma: zzz See, you are calm because you are so involved in
zzzzzzzzzyour thoughts that your obsessions are not become
zzzzzzzzzimportant. That’s why.

Elliot: zzz I am thinking of making a scrapbook with my
zzzzzzzzzHALO friends. It gets lonely otherwise.   I am not
zzzzzzzzzsure whether I can have their pictures.

Soma: zzz You can take pictures after group sessions whenever
zzzzzzzzzyou come. You can take home – that would be a
zzzzzzzzzgood idea – so all the interesting people you meet.
zzzzzzzzzWhat are other projects other than scrapbook –
zzzzzzzzzscrapbook is a very interesting project – I am sure
zzzzzzzzzyou have scrapbook of all the other activities you do.
zzzzzzzzzSo, you can have scrapbook of people.

Elliot: zzz How about writing a book?

Soma: zzz Writing a book can be a good project to do. What
zzzzzzzzzkind of book would you like to do?

Elliot: zzz Story.

Soma: zzz A storybook. OK, so, you want fiction book. Book
zzzzzzzzzcan be a good project to work on. Every time you
zzzzzzzzzcome, we can add a little bit, a little more, a little
zzzzzzzzzmore to it and so, we can do that.

Elliot: zzz How can I do it in one day?

Soma: zzz Oh, we see that. The thing is that, when people write
zzzzzzzzzbooks, they don’t have to see the time. Like one year
zzzzzzzzzor anything. See, all these things that we wrote.
zzzzzzzzz(Soma refers to her recordings of everything Elliot
zzzzzzzzzspelled in this session.)

Elliot: zzz Most books have so much stuff.

Soma: zzzYou can have so much stuff but, you can also write
zzzzzzzzzshort stories. So, what you’re going to do is, every
zzzzzzzzztime you come you are going to (accrue?) one
zzzzzzzzzchapter to the book. By the end of a year, see how
zzzzzzzzzmany chapters (you did).

Elliot: zzz It is good to include pictures in my book.

Soma: zzz You can start tomorrow if we want.  Who do you
zzzzzzzzzwant to write for – children, adults, people with
zzzzzzzzzautism?

Soma talks about one possibility of someone illustrating his book.

Soma: zzzYou can start the book tomorrow. You can think who
zzzzzzzzzyou are going to write the book for. Before writing
zzzzzzzzzany book, the first thing would be your audience.
zzzzzzzzzWho are you going to write for – children, adults,
zzzzzzzzzmaybe with autism? What else?

Elliot: zzz I will think about it.

Soma: zzz Then you choose an audience. Then write. Then you
zzzzzzzzzhave to think about the topic and the characters.

Elliot: zzz That part is easy.

Soma: zzz Yes, that is easy. What is the toughest?

Elliot: zzz I think story part

Soma: zzz Usually when people write books in creative writing,
zzzzzzzzzthey think a character and trying to think about all the
zzzzzzzzzexperiences they have and make a book out of it.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, every event has a chapter.

Elliot: zzz How about getting started now?

Soma: zzzYou are hungry.  You have to go eat dinner now.
zzzzzzzzzWe’ll start tomorrow morning. I’m sure you are so
zzzzzzzzzhungry. (It is past dinner.) I’m sure you have all
zzzzzzzzzthose things to do (on his schedule). And, then,
zzzzzzzzztomorrow morning we can get started right away.
zzzzzzzzzYou come back at 9:00 and we can get started. Any
zzzzzzzzzmessage to the world, message to mankind?

Elliot: zzz I am so excited.

Elliot with Soma – Saturday, August 1, 2009

Elliot: zzzDon’t we need to do something to warm up?

Soma: zzzSo, what would you like to do? Something to warm
zzzzzzzzzup.

Elliot: zzzSome science.

Soma: zzzSo, let’s do some science. OK, let’s see. In science,
zzzzzzzzzwhat would you like to do? Would you like to talk
zzzzzzzzzabout some life science or would you like to talk
zzzzzzzzzabout physical science? We do something to warm
zzzzzzzzzup and then I’m sure you thought about your book –
zzzzzzzzzand discuss that.

Elliot: zzzLife science.

Soma talks about movement of plants and then animals (protozoa and amoeba). When she is finished, she gets out a new black piece of paper (on which she records what Elliot spells as he points).

Soma: zzzNow, let’s see. So, this paper should be what?

Elliot: zzzHow many animals are there in this world?

Soma: zzzOh, there are so many different kinds of animals.
zzzzzzzzzSome rare animals. There’s that Smithsonian
zzzzzzzzzmuseum. They have the biggest of all these squids
zzzzzzzzzand it’s called sea monster. It has such a big eye and
zzzzzzzzzthey preserved it. It’s the biggest of all these – they
zzzzzzzzzhave some of the rarest collection of these different
zzzzzzzzzkinds of animals in the world. It takes two days to go
zzzzzzzzzand see it. One day won’t complete looking at it.

Elliot: zzzI get tired in museums.

Soma: zzzI don’t blame you. Museums are very visually
zzzzzzzzzstimulating places. Many people get tired and they
zzzzzzzzzdon’t admit it.

Elliot: zzzI think it gets boring after a while.

Soma: zzzYes, see, that’s why you have to go to the museum
zzzzzzzzzseveral times and see different – if you try to see
zzzzzzzzzeverything in one day – time is lessened. When
zzzzzzzzzthings get tiring then, they get boring.

Elliot: zzz Do museums have guides?

Soma answers. Then states: “If you had a museum at your home, what would you collect?”

Elliot: zzzWatches and clocks.

Soma: zzzThat’s an interesting thing. You can start collecting
zzzzzzzzznow.

Elliot: zzz I can stim with them.

Soma: zzzThat would be good. You could date them. Collectors
zzzzzzzzzdo research on them. And if you had this (porcelain?)
zzzzzzzzzwatch, you could say, I owned then this many years
zzzzzzzzzwhen I was growing up and describing an incident
zzzzzzzzzthat happened with it.

Elliot: zzzI don’t have it now.

Soma: zzzYou don’t have to have it now. You can start
zzzzzzzzzcollecting them.

Elliot: zzzWhat did you collect?

Soma: zzzI collected wedding cards. I grew up in a very
zzzzzzzzzinexpensive way. That was all I could afford.

Elliot: zzzWhat about comic books?

Soma talks about collecting Tintin and Asterix comic books.

Soma: zzzIf you read Asterix, it’s so funny. They are actually
zzzzzzzzzFrench comics. Tintin is a British comic; so witty and
zzzzzzzzzfunny.

Elliot: zzzI don’t know French writers.

Soma: zzz French writers are very subtle.

Elliot: zzz I can collect CDs.

Soma: zzzYes, you can collect CDs. That would be good. I like
zzzzzzzzzthe clock idea. Not too many people have clock
zzzzzzzzzcollections.

Elliot: zzz Do I ask them to give me clocks for my birthday?

Soma: zzzTotally up to you. You might change your mind.

Elliot: zzzWhen you collect something, they turn to your
zzzzzzzzzpets.

Soma: zzzYes.

Elliot: zzzHow is it I am not telling you about my book?

Soma: zzzI was wondering. I thought you thought about it. You
zzzzzzzzzthought about it at night.

Elliot: zzzIt is good for making a movie.

Soma: zzz It would be good.

Elliot: zzzI can make movies better.

Soma: zzzSo, you have to write it in a script form. That would
zzzzzzzzzbe good. Who are the audience? Who are you writing
zzzzzzzzzfor?

Elliot: zzzBasically children but, adults would like it too.

Soma: zzzOh, that’s good. Let’s find the character.

Elliot: zzzThat’s not to start now.

Soma: zzzWhat does that mean?

Elliot: zzz First continue with amoeba.

Soma: zzzLet’s continue with movement and locomotion (of
zzzzzzzzzprotozoa, paramecia, fish, reptiles, dog, and man)

When Soma finishes the lesson, she gets out a new blank piece of paper and asks, “ This page should be what?”

Elliot: zzz I think it is good to begin my story.

Soma: zzzThat would be good. So, since it is for movie
zzzzzzzzzpurpose, you might want to tell about the different
zzzzzzzzzcharacters.

Elliot: zzz Many characters.

Soma: zzz It has many characters. So, how we begin is, scene
zzzzzzzzzone. How you begin a script – there had to be a scene.
zzzzzzzzzAnd in a scene, a script writer has to give detail how
zzzzzzzzzthe scene has to look. So, you have to give very
zzzzzzzzzvisual detail. If there are three chairs, where the
zzzzzzzzzposition of the chairs and that is how the set director
zzzzzzzzzis going to form it. So you can start that.

zzzzzzzzzSo, it would be:

zzzzzzzScene 1.

Elliot: zzz It is a mall. People are shopping for Christmas.
zzzzzzzzzThen there is music in (the) background. There
zzzzzzzzzare gift stores and toy stores.
zzzzzzzzzFor first three minutes it shows only the feet of
zzzzzzzzzpeople. Slowly the camera follows one pair of feet.
zzzzzzzzzThe music fades and it holds a stim sound of a
zzzzzzzzznon-verbal autistic boy who is trying to sing Jingle
zzzzzzzzzBells but, he can’t say the words.
zzzzzzzzzHe has three companions. One is a man who is
zzzzzzzzzholding his hands. That man is a foster dad. There
zzzzzzzzzare two other foster siblings, who are both
zzzzzzzzzautistic.

Soma: zzzThis foster dad has a lot of work to do.

Elliot: zzz But they are verbal like Mason (Mason is from
zzzzzzzzzrgroup).

Soma: zzzWell, you have to then explain because the script
zzzzzzzzzwriter will not meet Mason. So, they have to know
zzzzzzzzzexactly what kind of “verbal” is that.

Elliot: zzz They are doing their talking about food.

Soma: zzzI wonder what kind of talking they are doing about
zzzzzzzzzfood?

Elliot: zzz They are basically requesting to eat.

Soma: zzz Aren’t we going to name them?

Elliot: zzz The first one is Jacob.

Soma: zzz How old is he?

Elliot: zzz He is twelve.

Soma: zzzThe second one? One of the verbal requesters of
zzzzzzzzzfood?

Elliot: zzz Second one is Jud.

Soma: zzzHow old is Jud?

Elliot: zzz He is six.

Soma: zzz And the third one?

Elliot: zzz He is Luke.

Soma: zzz How old is he?

Elliot: zzz Jud’s twin.

Soma: zzzThen what happened? Did the foster dad say
zzzzzzzzzanything?

Elliot: zzz The foster dad is not very patient. He is trying to
zzzzzzzzzrush them to a toy shop. His voice is not very clear
zzzzzzzzzbecause the music begins again as Jacob rocks in
zzzzzzzzzthe store. Jacob is looking at the floor. He is not
zzzzzzzzzvery interested in toys. Jud and Luke want toys
zzzzzzzzzand their words are not clearly heard.
zzzzzzzzzJacob suddenly screams! And, all eyes look at him.
zzzzzzzzzHe closes his ears and shuts his eyes. He is too
zzzzzzzzzscared to move. He is frozen in his place.
zzzzzzzzzThe foster dad’s hand…

Soma: zzzHe should have brought someone to help. He has his
zzzzzzzzzhands full over there.

Elliot: zzz …gently holds him and they leave the mall
zzzzzzzzzwithout buying anything. The twins follow them
zzzzzzzzzsinging Jingle Bells.

Elliot: zzz It is one of those movies that will make everyone
zzzzzzzzzthink.

Matt does a lesson. When he finishes:

Soma: zzzWhat else?

Elliot: zzz Do I (you) think I can really make a movie?

Soma: zzzYes. I think it can be.

Elliot: zzzThat’s my trouble. I can’t make long stories.

Soma explains a little about movies.

Elliot: zzz But, I have only told something that is for ten
zzzzzzzzzminutes

Soma explains more about a story plot/goal.

Soma: zzz When you began your story, did you know how it
zzzzzzzzzwould end?

Elliot: zzz I did it just as I was trying to see it.

Soma: zzz So, you were thinking spontaneously as it was being
zzzzzzzzzplayed in front of you. And, then you were adding
zzzzzzzzzwords to it. Right? That’s how you were making it?

Elliot: zzzYes. Do you think more should be added?

Soma: zzzI don’t know. If it is ten minutes. If you want to make
zzzzzzzzzit a feature length movie. Now, if you’re making a
zzzzzzzzzdocumentary where your doing it – a real situation -
zzzzzzzzzthen it is different.

Elliot: zzzMost of the time I see the scenes.

Soma: zzzNow, do you want to take a break or Dad can ask
zzzzzzzzzsome questions or something?

Elliot: zzzI can take a walk.

When they resume:

Hal: zzzzzHow did you like painting with Kyung-hee?

Elliot: zzz It felt new and I liked it. Sometimes new things are
zzzzzzzzzgood. I don’t see myself as an artist but I can try.

Hal:zzzzz What does it feel like, having autism? Mom wanted
zzzzzzzzzto know.

Elliot: zzz It is so much ‘me’ that I wonder what’s it like
zzzzzzzzzwhen people see me. I don’t see the difference. In
zzzzzzzzzfact, when I come to the group here at HALO, I
zzzzzzzzzsee others like Andrew and Mathew. They looked
zzzzzzzzzautistic. Maybe they see themselves the same way.
zzzzzzzzzNext. (Next question.)

Hal:zzzzz What did you think of softball in Advanced Team
zzzzzzzzzSports class?

Elliot: zzz I liked to see it around me. I have to practice
zzzzzzzzzmore. Next.

Hal: zzzzz What did you think of the Colorado trip.

Elliot: zzzMost of my trip was busy feeling happiness around
zzzzzzzzzme. It was good to hear words around me. Missed
zzzzzzzzzMom.

Hal:zzzzz What did you think of the Bob Dylan concert?

Elliot: zzzSo interesting. Thanks. I forgot I had autism.

Hal: zzzzz What did you think of the Green Day concert?

Elliot: zzzThat was good, too. Better than a movie.
zzzzzzzzz(Elliot watches his DVD of Green Day in concert
zzzzzzzzzalmost every day.)

Hal:zzzzz What did you think of the Cubs game?

Elliot: zzzHigh five to that.

Hal: zzzzz What did you think of the Cardinals game?

Elliot: zzzIt was (a) bit stressful but, OK.

Hal:zzzzz After our trip to Chicago and St. Louis this past week,
zzzzzzzzzyou said, “Go to St. Louis a lot.” What did you mean
zzzzzzzzzby that?

Elliot: zzzIt felt so right in that weather. I am sensitive to
zzzzzzzzzweather. St. L. has old buildings so, my mood
zzzzzzzzzchanges in a good way. Next.

Hal: zzzzzDid you like the book A Wrinkle in Time? What did
zzzzzzzzzyou think about it?

Elliot: zzzIt’s good. I liked the helpless ways in which some
zzzzzzzzzof the characters were forced to do activities in
zzzzzzzzzorder to prevent confusion. Next.

Hal:zzzzz What did you think of The Lord of the Rings series?

Elliot: zzz It was a bit stressful and otherwise it was good.

Hal: zzzzz How about the book Firestarter that we’re reading
zzzzzzzzznow?

Elliot: zzzMaybe good. It takes time for me to adjust to a
zzzzzzzzzbook.

Hal: zzzzz How about Harry Potter?

Elliot: zzzThat’s stressful, too, but good.

Soma: zzzWhat kind of books do you like?

Elliot: zzz Stressful sort is good – like football match.

Hal: zzzzz We’re reading Firestarter and Harry Potter at the
zzzzzzzzzsame time. Is that hard for you or would you rather
zzzzzzzzzread one at a time – or is it OK going back and forth?

Elliot: zzz Not hard. I can see the difference.

Hal: zzzzz Clarify – when Mom asked you if you liked prom
zzzzzzzzzand you said, “Good but it doesn’t make difference.”

Elliot: zzz It did not make an impact on me. In fact I was
zzzzzzzzzhappy when it was over.

Hal: zzzzz How is running and swimming going this summer?

Elliot: zzz It is fun to do both. I love summers.

Hal: zzzzz What is your favorite movie that you’ve watched
zzzzzzzzzwith Josh?

Elliot: zzzIt is hard to remember movie.

Soma: zzzBut you enjoy watching movies? that experience?

Elliot: zzzI like the going part, sitting part. I like movie
zzzzzzzzztheater’s lights, and I liked to feel myself inside it.
zzzzzzzzzNow I want to eat.

Hal: zzzzz Last time Soma said, “What is your definition of
zzzzzzzzzhappiness? Then we got interrupted when your mom
zzzzzzzzzwas here. So, can you tell me your definition of
zzzzzzzzzhappiness?

Elliot: zzz To feel calm in my mind.

Hal: zzzzz What do you think of being an assistant coach at
zzzzzzzzzWest for cross country?

Elliot: zzzWonderful. I told you before.

Hal: zzzzz You are a very good runner and Josh is happy to run
zzzzzzzzzwith you. Do you want to try to swim, bike, run  – a
zzzzzzzzztriathlon race for fun?

Elliot: zzz Marathon.

Hal: zzzzz So, you would rather do the running only and not
zzzzzzzzzdoing triathlon or both?

Elliot: zzz Everything.

Hal: zzzzz On August 29th, would you like to run a race around
zzzzzzzzzMadison with Josh? It will be long – 13 miles.

Elliot: zzzOK. I am hungry.

Hal: zzzzzDo you think how Soma is communicating with you -
zzzzzzzzzand we can ask you questions with Soma helping you
zzzzzzzzzto answer – do you think we will be able to
zzzzzzzzzcommunicate with you like this?

Elliot: zzzYes.

Hal: zzzzz What do you think we could do better to be able to
zzzzzzzzzdo it? What should we do to help you?

Elliot: zzzYou are doing everything.

Hal: zzzzz I wanted to ask you about some different books (that
zzzzzzzzzwe have read to you). Can I ask you about these or
zzzzzzzzzyou have had enough and want to stop now.

Elliot: zzz I am hungry.

Monday 6/15/09 First Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot:— I was thinking about the economy.

Soma talks about how unemployment was up, and now it is decreasing.

Elliot:zzzIs it solution?

Soma clarifies, “is it a solution?” and explains that we are bringing it under control.

Elliot: zzzWhat about businesses?

Soma talks about the two kinds of businesses, products and services.

She explains that service business is OK but, products business is suffering.

Elliot: zzzIs it bad with Chrysler?

Soma says yes and explains. She says that at least they didn’t have to close.

Elliot: zzzDid any company close?

Soma talks about Studebaker closing.

Elliot: zzzWhat happened to it?

Soma tells more of Studebaker’s history.

Elliot: zzzI want to have business.

Soma clarifies, “I want to have a business.” She explains how he could accomplish this by getting an education in business. Then, he would need capital, etc.

Soma: zzzWhat kind of business would you do?”

Elliot: zzzI want ideas.

Soma: zzz Well, in Madison, what natural resources do you
zzzzzzzzzzhave?

Elliot: zzzAgriculture.

Soma says that El could have a farm or a warehouse.

Elliot: zzzIs it expensive?

Soma explains that he would need seed money to start it up. She talks about bananas in warehouses and asks if he thinks the US grows them.

Elliot: zzzNo.

Soma says they come from Honduras. They are shipped to warehouses.She tells him that if he can have a warehouse, it is huge money.

Elliot:zzz I can have one.

Soma talks more about a warehouse and that the managing coat would be high.

Elliot:zzz But, it will bring money.

zzzzzzzzzDo they have them in Texas?

zzzzzzzzzIs it something I can do?

zzzzzzzzzWhen can I start?

Soma says he has to complete school first. She warns him that he might change his mind. She says he can do it in partnership with his sisters or his mom – he could call it “Bennett and Son”.

Elliot:zzz Bennett and Bennett.

zzzzzzzzzWhat is HALO?

Soma explains that HALO is a nonprofit. That they cannot make a profit. She says that a nonprofit is easy to start.

Elliot:zzz How do you start it?

Soma explains.

Elliot:zzz How is it making profit.

Soma again explains that it has to be a balance and cannot make a profit.

Monday 6/15/09 Second Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot:zzz I have a question.

zzzzzzzzzWhat is sex?

Soma: zzz When two people are involved with each other –
zzzzzzzzzzemotionally and physically together – enjoy each
zzzzzzzzzzother’s company, especially physical . That act is
zzzzzzzzzzcalled sex.

Elliot:zzz Is it emotional and physical?

Soma: zzz Usually some sort of emotions are involved.
zzzzzzzzzzBecause it generates a sense of pleasure and, with
zzzzzzzzzzpleasure comes a sort of emotion of feeling good.
zzzzzzzzzzWhen you feel good because of the company of
zzzzzzzzzzsomeone, the partner – that is where the emotion
zzzzzzzzzzcomes from.

Elliot: zzz Is it love?

Soma:zzz Love is a bigger term. It is more of a dependence.
zzzzzzzzzLove is broader. This kind of emotion is a kind of
zzzzzzzzzlove. But, it is more about physical dependent love.
zzzzzzzzzYou are getting something out of it. Whereas, in a
zzzzzzzzzbroad way, love does not expect anything back. It is
zzzzzzzzzmore of a selfish love.

Elliot: zzz It is great to know, because I feel I may
zzzzzzzzzzmiss out on that part.

Soma: zzz Think about the life of Jesus. All that he did in just
zzzzzzzzzzthat 30 years of his life. There are some other
zzzzzzzzzzimportant things. He did not take love as a selfish
zzzzzzzzzzkind of love. He gave love because he did not have
zzzzzzzzzzany expectations that they had to love him back.
zzzzzzzzzzSee, all these different kinds of problems –
zzzzzzzzzzthe marriages and all those different things we see –
zzzzzzzzzzit is because of that dependence and expectations.
zzzzzzzzzzOnce the expectations cannot be reached, the
zzzzzzzzzzproblems happen. Many times, marriages are based
zzzzzzzzzzon sex.

Elliot:zzz I am having this feeling of some sort of loneliness
zzzzzzzzzalthough I am around people.

Soma:zzz You’re not alone. Everyone has this sort of loneliness
zzzzzzzzz because each of us has a different wiring in the brain.
zvzzzzzzzFor a while, you see that you are enjoying it but, then
zvzzzzzzzyou start drifting off. We come to this world alone
zzzzzzzzzand we leave alone.

Elliot:zzz It is a long feeling.

Soma:zzz It happens. And, then you are soothed with company.
zzzzzzzzzThese relationships that people form based on sex –
zzzzzzzzzit’s a relationship that lasts like – the more intense it
zzzzzzzzzis – the shorter it is going to last because the different
zzzzzzzzz hormones that flow. Then our bodies get tired of
zzzzzzzzzthese hormones. For 2 or 3 years, they last. The peaks
zzzzzzzzz come back but, they are less intense.

Elliot:zzz It is never a happy ending.

Soma: zzz I would say it’s more of a happy beginning. But,
zzzzzzzzzzthen, it is more how you classify that happens. The
zzzzzzzzzzdefinition changes. It is more of a happy and very
vzzzzzzzzzintense beginning and then slowly it fades.

Elliot:zzz So is divorce right?

Soma: zzz There is no right or wrong in this. When there is too
zzzzzzzzzzmuch stress, it affects your family and the rest of
zzzzzzzzzzyour life. The hormone, cortisol flows – and it is
zvzzzzzzz toxic and it makes you sick. You can’t think right or
zzzzzzzzz work right. That is the time divorce is right. You
zzzzzzzzzzdon’t have the bitterness in it. And, then you have to
zzzzzzzzzzredefine happiness.

Elliot: zzz I think marriage must not be there.

Soma: zzz Many modern social scientists are thinking about
zzzzzzzzzzthat. People who go with traditional ideas – they like
zvzzzzzzzzthe idea of a wedding and all those things. Some
zvzzzzzzzzsocial scientists think it is healthier for people not to
zvzzzzzzzzhave the responsibility of a relationship of that kind.
zzzzzzzzzzWe’ll have to wait and see what happens.

Elliot:zzz I wish it was love forever.

Soma: zzz See, man proposes and God disposes. Our bodies are
zzzzzzzzzznot made like that. After marriage, people look other
zzzzzzzzzzplaces to be happy – different hobbies – and try to be
zzzzzzzzzzhappy. Our happiness is a personal thing. Even our
zzzzzzzzzzbest friend or our partner – it is theirpersonal thing.
zvzzzzzzzzWe can understand that but, we can’t share their
zzzzzzzzzzintensity.

Elliot:zzz That makes me feel better.

Soma:zzz That’s good. Everyone doesn’t have to experience
zzzzzzzzzeverything. Like Queen Elizabeth – she is
zvzzzzzzzexperiencing her life as a queen. But, we don’t need
zzzzzzzzzto experience that. Who knows? It may happen.
zzzzzzzzzIt may not happen. But, if we sit over there and wait
zzzzzzzzzfor it to happen, we’re all going to get frustrated –
zzzzzzzzz“it’s not happening, it’s not happening”. If it happens,
zzzzzzzzzit happens. We don’t know. It may happen.

Elliot: zzz I won’t know if it happens.

Soma:zzz You’ll know. And, again, it depends on
zzzzzzzzzhow you react. It involves a lot of actions, emotions
zzzzzzzzzand all those different things. Those emotions should
zzzzzzzzz be accepted byyour friend or partner you are having
zzzzzzzzza relationship.If those emotions or actions don’t get
zzzzzzzzzaccepted – again,it may not happen. It’s a little tricky.

Elliot:zzz It ends sad.

Soma:zzz It depends on your expectations. If it’s not happening
zzzzzzzzzthe way you want it, then the sadness will come. If
zzzzzzzzzthere’s not expectations, then certain surprises will
zzzzzzzzzmake things better.

Elliot:zzz I am in a big question.

Soma: zzz What?

Elliot: zzz Whether to have a relationship.

Soma: zzz You don’t have to sit over there and get stressed.
zzzzzzzzzWe’ll talk more tomorrow.You don’t have to sit and
zzzzzzzzzquestion yourself. If it happens, it happens.

l

Tuesday 6/16/09 First Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot:zzz What about Iran?

Soma talks about the history of Iran and Islam. She does
a lesson. When she is finished, she asks El what else he would
like to talk about.

Elliot:zzz Can I talk about how I can have
zzzzzzzzzbalanced emotions?

Soma: zzz This is a problem of everyone.

Soma says one thing she follows is you can’t keep everyone
happy. So, you do what you judge is the right thing.

Elliot:zzz Can’t make things right for everyone.

Soma:zzz Yes and, we try not to hurt most of the people.
zzzzzzzzzWhat else? Where are your emotions?
zzzzzzzzzWhere exactly do you put your emotions?

Elliot:zzz I worry too much about what people are
zzzzzzzzz thinking about me.

Soma: zzz See, a stage comes in everyone’s lives where people
zzzzzzzzzare very self conscious – “am I looking good?” And,
zzzzzzzzzthen after that, we realize, no one’s looking at us.
zzzzzzzzzThey’re looking at themselves, not others. This is
zzzzzzzzznormal – all people – especially your age.

Elliot:zzz I think all the time and get stressed.

Soma:zzz You don’t have to get stressed with that.Part of it,
zzzzzzzzzI would say, is how all these therapies work.
zzzzzzzzzBecause, they tell you if you do this, you’re not
zzzzzzzzzlooking good. If you do that, it’s not looking good.
zzzzzzzzzWhen you have autism, there is so much people tell
zzzzzzzzzyou what exactly to do and how to say it. What ever
zzzzzzzzzyou do, if you do it with dignity, I don’t think it
zzzzzzzzzshould matter.

Elliot:zzz How can I tell myself I am right?

Soma:zzz If it feels right, you are right.

Elliot:zzz Does it mean everything has to feel right?

Soma:zzz No. As long as the mistakes are not too much.
zzzzzzzzzThere’s no such rule that we can’t do anything
zzzzzzzzzwrong. We do something wrong and we learn from it.
zzzzzzzzzIt’s a learning experience.

Elliot:zzz I like to be right by being myself.

Soma:zzz And, everyone not need agree with you. But, as long
zzzzzzzzz as you are being honest with yourself,that’s good.
zzzzzzzzzBeing honest with yourself is necessary.

Elliot:zzz Do we have group today?

Tuesday 6/16/09 Second Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot: zzz I want to know about what is right and wrong.

Soma: zzzThere’s nothing called right or wrong.

Soma talks about a philosopher, Protagoras, who was in a class of philosophers called the sophists. She talks about the saying “what is right for a goose may not be right for a gander” and “man is a measure of all things”.

Soma:zzz And, again, there are some people who say, “this is
zzzzzzzzzright”, “this is wrong”. If you don’t distinguish
zzzzzzzzzbetween right and wrong, many people may not have
zzzzzzzzzthe right judgment to do the right things. So, it can
zzzzzzzzzmean either way. “This is good “and “that is good”.
zzzzzzzzzYou decide for yourself or usually the religious
zzzzzzzzzauthority, they tell you what is right and what is
zzzzzzzzzwrong. And, they promise something like – you go to
zzzzzzzzzheaven if you do all the things right. Or, you go
zzzzzzzzzelsewhere if you do those things that are not good.
zzzzzzzzzPeople will do those right things for a reward.

Elliot: zzz Who decides what is right?

Soma:zzz That’s an interesting thing. It’s a lot to do with
zzzzzzzzzenvironment factor. Which environment you’re
zzzzzzzzzgrowing up in. Now, if you’re growing up in a
zzzzzzzzzMuslim society then, right and wrong are a little
zzzzzzzzzdifferent. Think about Saudi Arabia. They did not
zzzzzzzzzhave any prison. So, in other parts of the world, if
zzzzzzzzzsomeone committed a crime, they would be put in
zzzzzzzzzprison. Whereas, in Saudi Arabia, there was no
zzzzzzzzzprison. But, people knew the crime had to be
zzzzzzzzzpunished otherwise, what is the guarantee that they
zzzzzzzzzwill not do it again? So, they had their laws –
zzzzzzzzzcatch the murderer and repay back and, show him
zzzzzzzzzhow it feels to be murdered. So, blood for blood.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, if the murderer ran away then, someone from
zzzzzzzzzthe murderer’s clan had to be offered as a substitute.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, the murderer wouldn’t want that to happen so,
zzzzzzzzzhe would come back. Or, they would fight. So, the
zzzzzzzzzwhole Muslim law is based on that because, there
zzzzzzzzzwas no prison. When we think that they are killing
zzzzzzzzzinnocent people, we can’t blame them because their
zzzzzzzzzenvironment made a law like that. We can’t say they
zzzzzzzzzare evil people because they are killing innocent
zzzzzzzzzpeople because they don’t see it like that. Someone
zzzzzzzzzdid something so, someone has to substitute for it –
zzzzzzzzzthat’s how they see it. Now, I come from a society in
zzzzzzzzzIndia – the ancient Hindus. For the Hindus, there was
zzzzzzzzza cast system. So, you have the most educated class –
zzzzzzzzzfirst came the teachers and priests. Then, came the
zzzzzzzzzking. Then came the business people. Then came the
zzzzzzzzzserving class. Now, if there was a crime committed by
zzzzzzzzzthe serving class, his punishment would be this
zzzzzzzzzbecause he would not be as educated as the other
zzzzzzzzzclasses. A business man’s punishment would be a
zzzzzzzzzlittle higher. A king’s or soldier’s punishment would
zzzzzzzzzbe still higher. But, if a teacher’s class committed
zzzzzzzzzsomething, his punishment would be death because he
zzzzzzzzzhad the education and, still he did that. So, again,
zzzzzzzzzpunishment and what is right and wrong – the crime
zzzzzzzzzcan be the same. Of course, now everything is
zzzzzzzzzcommon law. Today, in this modern world, here
zzzzzzzzzpeople are fighting for gay rights. Do you think fifty
zzzzzzzzzyears back this was possible?

Elliot: zzz No. Is it wrong to be gay?

Soma: zzz No, I don’t see anything wrong. It’s more the wiring
zzzzzzzzzof the brain. If the brain is wired in a different way, it
zzzzzzzzzwill get attracted to different, alternate views. I have
zzzzzzzzzsome good friends and, they are so kind. They are so
zzzzzzzzzgood. As human beings, they are very good.

Elliot: zzz How do you know them?

Soma: zzz They are some parents of some of my clients.They
zzzzzzzzzadopted children or, they had children from a
zzzzzzzzzmarriage that did not work because they had a
zzzzzzzzzdifferent kind of selectivity. And, they’re just
zzzzzzzzzordinary human beings like everyone.

Elliot: zzz I don’t see why there is so much fuss.

Soma: zzz Yes, all this California issue. Miss California, she
zzzzzzzzzwas very pretty. Her answer made her disqualified.
zzzzzzzzzToday, these beauty contests, it’s not just beauty as
zzzzzzzzzbeauty. It is beauty and brains. Because, you also have
zzzzzzzzzto think. When you are crowned a beauty queen, you
zzzzzzzzzhave to go to all these causes, like all these hospitals.
zzzzzzzzzLike, Miss Universe, they all have to travel. They all
zzzzzzzzzhave to be ambassadors to all these poor nations. You
zzzzzzzzzcan’t say things that could hurt some people. So,
zzzzzzzzzobviously with her comments, a class of people got
zzzzzzzzzhurt.

Elliot: zzz I can be a judge.

Soma: zzz Yes, you can be a judge. That would be good. You
zzzzzzzzzcould be a judge at a beauty pageant. That’s
zzzzzzzzzinteresting. What question would you ask?

Elliot: zzz How do you see autism and its future?

Soma:zzz Good question. Anything else?

Elliot:zzz I am curious about gay.

Soma: zzz There’s nothing to be curious. They have all the
zzzzzzzzzdifferent systems, the digestive system, the
zzzzzzzzzrespiratory system. All the systems, just as all human
zzzzzzzzzbeings. So, you can’t distinguish them. Some, due to
zzzzzzzzzsocial pressure, don’t admit.

Elliot:zzz All people are different.

Soma:zzz Yes, different choices.

Elliot: zzz Are Muslims gay?

Soma:zzz I don’t know. And, those whom I know, I did not
zzzzzzzzzhave any discussion of this sort. So, that is why I
zzzzzzzzzcan’t tell you. This kind of discussion is more open in
zzzzzzzzza society where free thought – your country has more
zzzzzzzzzfree thought.So, we didn’t have that discussion so, I
zzzzzzzzzcan’t tell you.

Elliot:zzz Ask someone.

Soma: zzzIt can be but, asking someone may not help because,
zzzzzzzzzthe other person may not tell. So, you can’t expect
zzzzzzzzzthat you ask and the other person is going to tell. So,
zzzzzzzzzwe have to be very careful what we are asking. Like
zzzzzzzzzasking so many questions – when we ask people, we
zzzzzzzzzget the direct answer. But, it doesn’t matter. It
zzzzzzzzzdepends upon – before we ask, we have to be very
zzzzzzzzzcareful what we’re asking in a social situation. Elliot
zzzzzzzzzchecks his watch and this session’s time is up.

Elliot: zzzHope to talk again.

Wednesday 6/17/09 First Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot:zzzHow about Austin?

Soma:zzzWhen I first moved to Austin, it didn’t matter.
zzzzzzzzzBecause I lived in Los Angeles and I lived in
zzzzzzzzzHollywood. Austin was quieter.

Elliot: zzzI don’t think it is bad.

Soma:zzzIt is not a bad city. I know the people – close knit,
zzzzzzzzzworking, especially central Austin – around the
zzzzzzzzzuniversity. You see, the whole dynamics and all those
zzzzzzzzzpeople, they’re good. In Austin, once a year, all the
zzzzzzzzzpeople participate to clean up the lake. I like people’s
zzzzzzzzzparticipation in the community – that is good.

Elliot:zzz Do you participate?

Soma: zzz No, I am an indoor person. But, I can appreciate it
zzzzzzzzzby looking. I get one Sunday. I feel so good staying at
zzzzzzzzzhome. Because Saturday, I have to rush. (Soma works
zzzzzzzzz6 days/week)

Elliot:zzz I am hoping to get my sisters involved in HALO.

Soma: zzz That would be good. But, you don’t know – after
zzzzzzzzzcollege, what they plan for themselves. I tell you –
zzzzzzzzzthe criteria for taking people – the best possible age
zzzzzzzzzfor people to join and work for HALO would be after
zzzzzzzzzpeople get married – after they have children. Then,
zzzzzzzzztheir children start going to school. That age, if they
zzzzzzzzzare interested, then they would stick to it. Like Erika,
zzzzzzzzzshe will go back but, she’ll have her children. I don’t
zzzzzzzzzknow how involved she’ll be after that. But, if I had
zzzzzzzzzto choose, I would choose – when people get married,
zzzzzzzzzthey have their children and then children start going
zzzzzzzzzto school. That is the time – then it will be good. Then
zzzzzzzzzthey will stay with it.

Elliot:zzz I hope to stay.

Soma:zzz Yes, you can stay with HALO. You just have to be
zzzzzzzzzmembers.

Soma has G ask her priority questions.

G:zzzzzzDo you want to keep doing Shakespeare with
zzzzzzzzzRichard? Is it going OK or should we do something
zzzzzzzzzdifferent?

Elliot: zzzIt is great.

G:zzzzzzWhen you listen to your ipod and you jump and you
zzzzzzzzzjump and you jump – you just get into it – and I say
zzzzzzzzzstop because you’re all sweaty and you do it in front
zzzzzzzzzof the front window. Do you really have to do that?
zzzzzzzzzDo you really enjoy it?

Elliot:zzzI forget to stop.

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot:zzzI want to know more about gay community.

Soma:zzz It’s pretty new – the whole concept. In the past, I’m
zzzzzzzzzsure, it was more secret. Now, people are coming out
zzzzzzzzzin the open. It’s yet to see. In the next 10 years –
zzzzzzzzzsocial acceptance.

Elliot:zzz I don’t know much about girls.

Soma: zzzYou know, like the way girls think – it all differs. Just
zzzzzzzzzlike it differs with boys – the way they think. When
zzzzzzzzzthey are 18 will be a little different from when they
zzzzzzzzzare 28. And, a little different from when they are 38.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, it goes on like that – this whole 10 years. Along
zzzzzzzzzwith it, the experience, what the girls faced. So, if
zzzzzzzzzthey have more experience, then their thought process
zzzzzzzzzwill be affected by that experience. Because they’d be
zzzzzzzzzlearning from that experience. Now, if the experience
zzzzzzzzzis less, for example, if the girl is very protected and,
zzzzzzzzznot allowed too much social interaction, her thoughts
zzzzzzzzzwould be a little different. So, she would grow up into
zzzzzzzzza very idealistic person because knowledge with
zzzzzzzzzpractical world would be a little less. So, she would
zzzzzzzzzhave an ideal mind, an ideal world. Whereas, a person
zzzzzzzzzwho is more exposed, a girl who is more exposed will
zzzzzzzzzhave more of a realistic mind. It’s just like boys. So,
zzzzzzzzzyou can’t just say, “girls are like this…”

Elliot: zzz What sort of boys do they like?

Soma: zzz Now, again, it depends on the exposure. If you have
zzzzzzzzzmore exposure through a practical person, you would
zzzzzzzzzwant someone to have an identical thought process.
zzzzzzzzzYou know what happens, in the beginning, when a
zzzzzzzzzrelationship is forming, usually, people go for
zzzzzzzzzappearances. If the appearance is likeable then,
zzzzzzzzzpeople try to mold one’s self and make herself likable
zzzzzzzzzto a boy. So, all the acting and all those things take
zzzzzzzzzplace. Because girls try to be different from what
zzzzzzzzzthey are actually – so that boys will like them. The
zzzzzzzzzboys try to adapt themselves. And, after it’s taken for
zzzzzzzzzawhile then, they wonder, “wait a bit”, “I did this for
zzzzzzzzzyou, this for you, this for you”. “I changed myself”
zzzzzzzzzand, “I’m not this kind of person”. So, later on, that
zzzzzzzzzrealization comes. So, in the beginning, when people
zzzzzzzzzare themselves, this kind of problem doesn’t happen.
zzzzzzzzzBut, usually, in the beginning, there’s a lot of like,
zzzzzzzzzcareful, because, we don’t want to break that
zzzzzzzzzrelationship. You don’t want to get that boy mad or
zzzzzzzzzthat girl mad. So, it is both for girls and boys.

Elliot:zzz Do I have to do certain things?

Soma:zzz No, you don’t have to do certain things. When you
zzzzzzzzzmake yourself, “I have to do certain things so the boy
zzzzzzzzzlikes me”. Or, the boy thinks,” I have to do certain
zzzzzzzzzthings so that that girl likes me” there’s a lot of peer
zzzzzzzzzpressure and competition. You don’t want that boy to
zzzzzzzzzlike other girls. Or, other boys think that that girl
zzzzzzzzzshouldn’t like other boys. When all those things
zzzzzzzzzhappen, it’s a lot of social pressure. That is why -
zzzzzzzzzwhat happens is – you start off – if that boy likes
zzzzzzzzzcoffee, you try to drink coffee to make that boy feel
zzzzzzzzzhappy. And, suddenly, after 10 years, you realize,
zzzzzzzzz“what exactly am I doing?” See, from what I learned
zzzzzzzzzby observing your society is this – because my society
zzzzzzzzzwas completely different. Like, we had an arranged
zzzzzzzzzmarriage. Our parents came and asked, “what sort of
zzzzzzzzza boy would you like?” We gave the list – these are
zzzzzzzzzthe qualifications – we would like this, this, this – this
zzzzzzzzzeducation. Like, it all came in a package. We didn’t
zzzzzzzzzhave to work very hard to keep the relationship. But,
zzzzzzzzzhere, this is what I’m seeing. As an outsider. I don’t
zzzzzzzzzknow – I may be wrong.

Elliot:zzz I think you are right.

Soma: zzz Maybe I’m right. You know what happens is, after
zzzzzzzzz15 years the relationship comes. And, both start
zzzzzzzzzthinking. “You know, I changed this much and, I
zzzzzzzzzchanged that much”. And then it leads to a big
zzzzzzzzzreadjustment. So, you have to be very, very honest –
zzzzzzzzzfrom the beginning. But, again, if you’re honest, too
zzzzzzzzzhonest, from the very beginning, you may not get the
zzzzzzzzzgirl you want. So, it’s a big social pressure. We didn’t
zzzzzzzzzhave to do that.

Elliot:zzz Is it love?

Soma:zzz What we think about love –that bird struck love –
zzzzzzzzzis more of a codependence. It’s like having an
zzzzzzzzzaddiction. I need that person because I feel happy and
zzzzzzzzzI feel comfortable. And, again, because I love myself.
zzzzzzzzzI want myself to feel good. That’s why I need that
zzzzzzzzzperson.

Elliot:zzzIs it real?

Soma:zzzIt is real. But, again, it depends upon how you are
zzzzzzzzzdefining love at that time.

Wednesday 6/17/09 Second Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot:zzz Do you know most people don’t worry
zzzzzzzzzabout autism.

Soma: zzzSee, that’s because people form a (field?)
zzzzzzzzz(around themselves). They think their own personal
zzzzzzzzzways are the most important thing. I don’t know that
zzzzzzzzzif Tito did not have autism – I don’t know whether I
zzzzzzzzzwould have known much about it or not. I would have
zzzzzzzzzdone something else and, I wouldn’t even know
zzzzzzzzzanything about autism. So, people usually form a
zzzzzzzzz(field?) of ways around themselves.

Elliot: zzz It is so unfortunate

Soma: zzz Yeah, again, what happens is, for some people,
zzzzzzzzzthey worry about certain things for a time and, then
zzzzzzzzzthey move on. And, they focus on some other worries.
zzzzzzzzzSo, that is how it works. Because, a mind gets tired
zzzzzzzzzabout worrying about one particular thing. So, we
zzzzzzzzzwant to worry about something else. So, that’s what
zzzzzzzzzit is.

Elliot:zzz I don’t want to be critical of people but, I wish
zzzzzzzzzthey would start worrying about autism.

Soma: zzzYeah, that can be done. They will start distributing
zzzzzzzzzpamphlets and other things. I’m sure that today,
zzzzzzzzzpeople are more aware. People know what autism is.
zzzzzzzzzThere was a time when no one was aware of it.
zzzzzzzzzBut, at least today, that awareness is there. Step by
zzzzzzzzzstep, that will happen. Now what?

Elliot:zzz Is it possible for two autistic people to have
zzzzzzzzza relationship?

Soma: zzzYeah, there can be many kinds of relationships. But,
zzzzzzzzzif you think about a romantic relationship, yeah,
zzzzzzzzzwhy not? And that, it depends upon many things. It
zzzzzzzzzdepends upon your motor skills. It depends upon your
zzzzzzzzzsocial skills. So, all those different things and, then a
zzzzzzzzzlittle prediction of what can happen. Because, if you
zzzzzzzzzjust think about predictable things, if any
zzzzzzzzzunpredictable comes in the way, it might be a little
zzzzzzzzzworrying. See how, if you’re used to your routine -
zzzzzzzzzthe other person is used to their routine – there can be
zzzzzzzzzsome practical problems. Which may be a little more
zzzzzzzzzintense than what typical people would experience.
zzzzzzzzzBecause level of our adjustments are different. So,
zzzzzzzzzyour adjustment – emotional adjustment –
zzzzzzzzzsocial adjustment – it would be a little different from
zzzzzzzzztypical people’s adjustment. Typical people find it
zzzzzzzzzdifficult. See, starting a relationship is very easy. But,
zzzzzzzzzmaintaining it, that’s the hardest part. So, having a
zzzzzzzzzrelationship means starting, maintaining it.
zzzzzzzzzSometimes it can be very exhausting, also even for
zzzzzzzzztypical people.

Elliot:zzz That doesn’t sound good.

Soma:zzz Yeah, everything has its good side and its bad side.
zzzzzzzzzBut, I won’t say that it just can’t happen. It can
zzzzzzzzzhappen. But, you have to be careful because, no one
zzzzzzzzzwants to get hurt. See, you form a relationship to be
zzzzzzzzzhappy. The goal of a relationship is to be happy. But,
zzzzzzzzzif that goal is not met, then people can get hurt. So,
zzzzzzzzzthat is the whole thing. The most important thing. So,
zzzzzzzzznot experiencing happiness is better than
zzzzzzzzzexperiencing a hurt.

Elliot:zzz I don’t think typical people would want a
zzzzzzzzzrelationship…

Soma:zzz With a person with autism? Again, it depends upon
zzzzzzzzzhow the person with autism has learned to adapt to
zzzzzzzzzthe environment. I don’t think typical people will
zzzzzzzzzhave any problem if the adapted – See, a relationship
zzzzzzzzzis a very two way thing. It is not get, get, get, get, get.
zzzzzzzzzIt is give and get, give and get. It’s like that counting.
zzzzzzzzzIt’s a two way participation. The communication that
zzzzzzzzzwe are doing, and, over there, is a different kind of
zzzzzzzzzcommunication. So, the expectations will be a little
zzzzzzzzzdifferent. It’s like asking someone, “what’s the color
zzzzzzzzzof this table?” And, someone else is answering, “it is
zzzzzzzzzbitter sweet”. So, the other person may not
zzzzzzzzzunderstand anything but, “brown”. So, it cab be a
zzzzzzzzzlanguage gap. A communication in a romantic sense
zzzzzzzzzis also communication. The other person has to
zzzzzzzzzunderstand your language. You have to understand
zzzzzzzzzthe other person’s language. It can be tricky but, it
zzzzzzzzzcan happen. I’m not saying no to it.

Elliot:zzz It is good to stick to autistic people.

Soma: zzz It can be done on experiment basis. When an
zzzzzzzzzapartment can be given under supervision. But, it has
zzzzzzzzzto be very carefully done. And, there would be lots of
zzzzzzzzzlegal problems arising. In on of the countries, they
zzzzzzzzzdid that. They didn’t do it with autistic people. They
zzzzzzzzzdid it with a different kind of disability. They
zzzzzzzzzsterilized the men and the women and allowed them
zzzzzzzzzto enjoy. With autism, you know, it’s a different kind
zzzzzzzzzof adjustment. In the United States, it can raise a big
zzzzzzzzzlegal issue if anyone thought about it.

Elliot: zzz What is sterilizing?

Soma explains.

Elliot:zzz It can be done here?

Soma:zzz Yes, anything can be done anywhere. You also have
zzzzzzzzzto realize, you have a whole life left in front of you.
zzzzzzzzzIt’s just beginning. So, there’s no hurry for
zzzzzzzzzeverything. You can’t be rushing through everything.
zzzzzzzzzThe moment you rush through things – “I have to do
zzzzzzzzzthat”, “I have to do that” – the moment you rush,
zzzzzzzzzyou see how desperate you feel. That makes you very
zzzzzzzzzunhappy. The time comes. Things happen. But, if you
zzzzzzzzzsit over there and wait for it – “oh, it’s not happening”
zzzzzzzzzthen, we get all desperate a bout it.

Elliot:zzz I like to be happy.

Soma:zzz Tell me, what is your definition of happiness?
zzzzzzzzzEveryone likes to be happy. That’s why they promise,
zzzzzzzzzin a place called heaven, you’ll be happy. This is the
zzzzzzzzzend product of living. That’s everyone’s goal. But, if
zzzzzzzzzyou are just happy then, after that you have to go and
zzzzzzzzzbe happy and, after that again, “I have to be happy,
zzzzzzzzzhow boring that happiness would be.

Elliot:zzz Is it really boring to be happy?

Soma:zzz Now, think about ice cream. After many days,
zzzzzzzzzsuppose you did not have ice cream for a long time.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, suddenly you take the first bite of ice cream.
zzzzzzzzzIt feels good. You go on and on eating it, it’s not
zzzzzzzzzgoing to feel good anymore. Because the happiness
zzzzzzzzzhormones, they can produce just so much. That is
zzzzzzzzzwhy, when good things come, in a little way, that is
zzzzzzzzzgood. What else are we going to talk about?

Elliot: zzz I am having sleep issue. Can I take a nap?

k

Thursday 6/18/09 First Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot: zzz Do you believe in afterlife?

Soma: zzz It’s good to believe because, you wouldn’t want
zzzzzzzzzeverything to end – just like that. You worked hard –
zzzzzzzzzall that – suddenly everything comes to an end. Then,
zzzzzzzzzyou suddenly wonder, “what’s the purpose of all
zzzzzzzzzthat?” All the consciousness and everything. Even if
zzzzzzzzzwe think about human beings as a kind of collective
zzzzzzzzzconsciousness. So, it is good to believe in something
zzzzzzzzz– after life. And, that things continue forever.
zzzzzzzzzBecause, God is forever. There is no beginning or
zzzzzzzzzthere is no end. Soma explains the Big Bang theory
zzzzzzzzzand the Steady State theory.

Elliot:zzz Do you believe in ghosts?

Soma: zzz What about you? I haven’t encountered one. But, I
zzzzzzzzzlike to read. When I was in school, I loved stories.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, my grandmother would read. And, to make the
zzzzzzzzzspecial effect, they would light a candle over there
zzzzzzzzzand listen to her reading. We grew up in a big family.
zzzzzzzzzMy grandmother would read and, we would have a
zzzzzzzzznice special effect going on. And sit together and
zzzzzzzzzlisten. I grew up listening to ghosts stories. But, I
zzzzzzzzzhaven’t seen one so, I don’t know.

Elliot:zzz Are they real?

Soma: zzzThere are plenty of things we can’t see. We can’t see
zzzzzzzzzbacteria but, they are real. So, we have no idea –
zzzzzzzzzwhether – because – we don’t know – our brains
zzzzzzzzzshow this much. See, there was a philosopher whose
zzzzzzzzzname was Emmanuel Kant. He said that the reality
zzzzzzzzzthat we perceive and, is like the cookies. But, it’s just
zzzzzzzzza part of the cause and all those different things we
zzzzzzzzzdon’t see – like the door. We don’t get to see the door
zzzzzzzzzwhen, we are seeing only the cookies. Our senses are
zzzzzzzzzvery limited. They show only us seven colors when,
zzzzzzzzzas there are other waves and other things going on
zzzzzzzzzaround us.

Elliot: zzz Do people see them?

Soma: zzz I have no idea what others’ senses show. But, again
zzzzzzzzzwhat ever we see, our brain interprets it in one way.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, whatever our brain interprets, we are able to see
zzzzzzzzzthem. And, people who saw them, they’re not lying.
zzzzzzzzzSo, their brain and their senses are talking to them.
zzzzzzzzzMy brain didn’t show anything or my eyes didn’t
zzzzzzzzzshow anything yet. But, the stories are interesting.
zzzzzzzzzWhy, what about you? Do you believe in them?

Elliot:zzz I wish I could see them.

Soma:zzz Well, I don’t know. Even if you see them, there
zzzzzzzzzwould be the kind of interaction you want from them
zzzzzzzzzor not. I’m sure it would be a big help if people saw
zzzzzzzzzthem. They would tell – they could interpret from
zzzzzzzzzthat side – how it feels – what is there on the other
zzzzzzzzzside – and all those different things. And, sometimes
zzzzzzzzzwhat happens is – In some places, there’s much of
zzzzzzzzzenergy trapped. You see, energy cannot be created or
zzzzzzzzzdestroyed. And, sometimes the same trapped energy
zzzzzzzzzmay be of the same event and comes out in the form
zzzzzzzzzof the vision. So, whether there are real ghosts or not,
zzzzzzzzzthere are people who experience watching a battle field
zzzzzzzzzor, experience someone walking through the room
zzzzzzzzzbecause of that trapped energy. It’s just trapped energy
zzzzzzzzzin the form of light that distorts. That is why sometimes,
zzzzzzzzzpeople feel that they’re seeing someone walking. See, this
zzzzzzzzzthing that we are doing, it is just energy that is just getting
zzzzzzzzzconverted from one form to another. Now, suppose fifty
zzzzzzzzzyears later, someone sees me doing the same thing over
zzzzzzzzzhere. They think that it is a ghost. Whereas, it may be just
zzzzzzzzza trapped energy that is making the same thing and, you
zzzzzzzzzsee it in a form of light. We don’t know for sure what
zzzzzzzzzexactly is happening. There’s no way of telling because,
zzzzzzzzzthese things happen – just experiences only happen to
zzzzzzzzza few – not generalized.

Elliot: zzzI haven’t seen one.

Soma: zzzThat’s good. We have so much to do with real life.

Elliot: zzzWhy do they come in the dark?

Soma: zzzYeah, that’s an interesting thing. Because, I think the
zzzzzzzzztrapped energy’s so faint – because it gets dissipated, it
zzzzzzzzzgets dissipated, it gets dissipated. That, when the light is
zzzzzzzzzthere, although the trapped energy may be there, we don’t
zzzzzzzzzget to see it. So, the condition has to be that the frequency
zzzzzzzzzof the light is (very less?). Then, you get to see it. It’s like
zzzzzzzzzthe stars. They are in the sky but, you don’t get to see them
zzzzzzzzzduring the day because, the light coming from them is so
zzzzzzzzzfaint. But, sometimes things get replayed if the energy is
zzzzzzzzztrapped. I feel it’s like that.

Elliot: zzzIs it science?

Soma: zzzEverything that happens, can be explained by science.
zzzzzzzzzEither it is going on in the brains of the people – that is
zzzzzzzzzmaking them see things or, it can be something trapped
zzzzzzzzzonly their eyes have the special power.

Elliot: zzzIs there real heaven?

Soma:zzz It is good to believe there is a physical place where people
zzzzzzzzzget to go to be rewarded. But, you know what our
zzzzzzzzzconclusion of everything is because, we are so trapped in this
zzzzzzzzzthree-dimensional world. There are eleven dimensions and,
zzzzzzzzzthey say, there are parallel universes. So, the same place in
zzzzzzzzzanother dimension, other things are going on. And, we are
zzzzzzzzzso trapped in just three dimension things, we don’t even
zzzzzzzzzknow how forth dimension plays would look like. So, I feel
zzzzzzzzzthat if there is something it’s just a different dimension.
zzzzzzzzzThings are happening in a parallel way – in parallel plane
zzzzzzzzzand in a different dimension.

Elliot:zzz How many dimensions are there?

Soma: zzzThere are eleven dimensions they could prove
zzzzzzzzzmathematically. But, there’s no way to prove it physically
zzzzzzzzzbecause, we are trapped in this dimension. See, there was
zzzzzzzzza lot of study going on about these dimensions when
zzzzzzzzzpeople were mysteriously disappearing from this Bermuda
zzzzzzzzzTriangle. There was a triangle formed between this
zzzzzzzzzBermuda, Florida, and the Bahamas. This is where ships,
zzzzzzzzzplanes – anything passed that place – disappeared. Many
zzzzzzzzztimes ships came, without any people. So, it was a very
zzzzzzzzzbig mystery. That was the time when, a lot of experiments
zzzzzzzzzabout dimensions and all those things. So,
zzzzzzzzzmathematically we can prove it but, we can’t actually
zzzzzzzzzexperimentally prove it because, we are trapped in this
zzzzzzzzzworld of three dimensions: length, width, and height.

Elliot: zzzObjects disappeared?

Soma: zzzYes. Things, ships just seemed to disappear. And, they
zzzzzzzzzstarted seeing things. Charles Berlitz, he wrote a book.
zzzzzzzzzThe captains of the ships, they were reporting that the
zzzzzzzzzsky around and the earth seemed to tilt. Everything was
zzzzzzzzzall mixed up. And, they were going through this
zzzzzzzzzphase – it seemed like, they were these wormholes
zzzzzzzzzthrough which you can just tunnel through from one
zzzzzzzzzdimension to another dimension. So, it was as if these
zzzzzzzzzwormholes were there around certain places and, many
zzzzzzzzzships disappeared at that time. So, people thought that
zzzzzzzzzactually they were getting transferred for some reason
zzzzzzzzzthrough these wormholes from one dimension to
zzzzzzzzzanother dimension. So, we don’t know whether heaven
zzzzzzzzzis another place or not. So, it can be a parallel universe
zzzzzzzzzthat is going on.

Elliot:zzz It would be good to ask some ghost.

Soma: zzzYeah, usually what happens is people,
zzzzzzzzzwhen people are living, you’re not scared of them.
zzzzzzzzzWhen people die, then suddenly that fear comes,
zzzzzzzzzeven if it is a near and dear one. So, people (look?)
zzzzzzzzzforward to asking all these details about what’s going
zzzzzzzzzon with them.

Elliot:zzz What are wormholes?

Soma: zzzScientists believe that, even in this three dimension
zzzzzzzzzuniverse – including the earth, including the planets
zzzzzzzzzthat we see, there are certain passages that take you
zzzzzzzzzto other dimensions. And, that is why sometimes you
zzzzzzzzzsee things mysteriously disappear. And, you don’t
zzzzzzzzzknow, there’s no cause, just vanish. That’s what
zzzzzzzzzthey think.

k

Thursday 6/18/09 Second Session

G:zzzzzz Is there anything you want to say to me or
zzzzzzzzzsomething you want me to know, El?

Elliot: zzzAt the moment, I can’t think of anything.

G: zzzzzzIs there anything you want to say to anybody?

Elliot: zzzNo I don’t have to say anything.

G: zzzzzzWhy do you like Marge’s so much.

Elliot: zzzIt feels comfortable around some people.

G: zzzzzzLast time, Erin had asked, when you meet new people
zzzzzzzzzwith her, is there something she can say? And, I know,
zzzzzzzzzsometimes around new people, I say “he has autism.
zzzzzzzzzHe’s very smart. He just can’t get his mouth to say
zzzzzzzzzwhat he wants it to say”. Is that OK to say that or,
zzzzzzzzzdo you want me to say nothing? Or, like when you’re
zzzzzzzzzaround Erin’s friends?

Elliot: zzzDon’t say anything if they don’t ask.

G: zzzzzzDoes your seizure medicine make you tired or make
zzzzzzzzzyou feel different or you can’t tell?

Elliot: zzzCan’t tell.

G: zzzzzzWhy do you take two people’s hands and
zzzzzzzzzput them together?

Elliot: zzzI want them to talk to each other.

G: zzzzzzSami wants to know if we could stop doing
zzzzzzzzzthe score everyday or you really enjoy
zzzzzzzzzkeeping track of scores? It’s just an obsessive thing –
zzzzzzzzzyou get upset sometimes when we can’t find the scores.
zzzzzzzzzDo you really want to keep doing it?

Elliot:zzz Yes.

G: zzzzzzWhy do you smash soap?

Soma: zzzTito does that, too.

Elliot:zzz It gives me power.

G: zzzzzzWhat did you think of going to prom?

Elliot: zzzGood, but it doesn’t make difference.

G: zzzzzzHow did you like your graduation ceremony at
zzzzzzzzzWest at the Kohl Center?

Elliot: zzzGood.

G: zzzzzzWhat did you think of your open house party
zzzzzzzzzfor your finishing high school?

Elliot: zzzI enjoyed that.

G: zzzzzzHow about the senior party with Dad?

Elliot:zzz I enjoyed that, too.

G:zzzzzz What did you think of softball in Advanced Team Sports
zzzzzzzzzclass? I think you loved it but, I’m just clarifying.

Elliot: zzzYou are right.

G: zzzzzzAnd, after taking Spanish 1 for four years, I imagine
zzzzzzzzzyou know some Spanish? Do you know some Spanish, El?

Elliot: zzzYes, but I don’t want to say it now.

G: zzzzzzGrandma Bev wanted to know what you think of her or
zzzzzzzzzGrandpa Leno?

Elliot: zzzThey are great to be with.

G: zzzzzzAnd, I assume the same for Grandma Diann? Or, is there
zzzzzzzzzsomething you want to say about Grandma Diann or,
zzzzzzzzzGrandpa Howard – I know he died.

Elliot:zzz Yes. I like to see her.

G: zzzzzzPeople gave you gifts or money for finishing high school.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, we were going to write thank you notes. Is there
zzzzzzzzzsomething you want me to say in the thank you note?

Elliot: zzzThank you for appreciating me.

G: zzzzzzDo you want to go to church regularly or just read books?

Elliot:zzz I can go there. Those folks look good.

Soma: zzzNow, what else?

Elliot: zzzDo you go to church?

Soma: zzzNo. It makes me distracted. I pray in private.
zzzzzzzzzWhen I have to pray together I get too overwhelmed
zzzzzzzzzand start looking around and everything. My mind
zzzzzzzzzwonders other than praying.

Elliot: zzzAre you religious?

Soma: zzzI’m not religious. Because, God made man and man
zzzzzzzzzmade religion. Why should I be something that man
zzzzzzzzzmay think?

G: zzzzzzBut, I imagine you’re spiritual though.

Soma: zzzYes. Your relationship with God has to be private.
zzzzzzzzzYou don’t need a church to tell you how to pray. It is
zzzzzzzzzvery private. Just like a mother and son’s relationship
zzzzzzzzzis very private. A very personal thing. If you go to a
zzzzzzzzzpsychologist and ask. And, a psychologist tells how
zzzzzzzzzto be. I don’t believe in that also.

Elliot: zzzI think some relationships are personal.

Soma: zzzSome relationships are personal. That’s why, some
zzzzzzzzzpeople go to psychologist and they spoil everything.
zzzzzzzzzA parent would know best how to communicate with
zzzzzzzzztheir children. You don’t need a psychologist to tell you
zzzzzzzzzwhat to do.

Elliot: zzzWill it be possible to have personal relationship with
zzzzzzzzzsomeone?

Soma: zzzYou can’t rule out possibilities. But, thinking about
zzzzzzzzzpossibilities, if you get anxious and spoil today, then that
zzzzzzzzzwould be difficult. So, you can’t rule out the possibilities.
zzzzzzzzzEvery relationship you have, the relationship you have with
zzzzzzzzzyour teacher, the relationship you have with God, with your
zzzzzzzzzdad, mom. Everything is personal. So, we all interact with
zzzzzzzzzall of them in a different way –which are all very unique to
zzzzzzzzzthat relationship.

Elliot: zzzI have to do so much work.

Soma: zzzYeah, but, that shouldn’t make you stressed. If you think,
zzzzzzzzz“I have to do so much work. I have to have a relationship”.
zzzzzzzzzAnd, you make that as a goal, then it will be difficult.
zzzzzzzzzIt would make you so stressed. If it happens, it happens.

Elliot: zzzMost of my time is spent in sports.

Soma:zzz That’s good.

G: zzzzzzAre you glad most of your time is spent in sports?
zzzzzzzzzAre you glad or wish it was different?

Elliot: zzzGlad.

k

Friday 6/19/09 Friday Last Session

Soma asks Elliot what he wants to talk about.

Elliot: zzzMost of my worry is Iran. It is not peaceful.

Soma says how people get bored and want to stir things up.

Elliot: zzzI like to stir up something.

(can’t remember what Soma said and this session did not get recorded on DVD)

Elliot: zzzIt is good to have them as friends.

(can’t remember)

Elliot: zzzI think people are more serious that way.

(I was telling Soma that YSP (the Young Shakespeare Players theater group in Madison) was a nice community.)

Elliot: zzzIt is good to have a community.
zzzzzzzzzHow can I hope to get some business ideas?

Soma told Elliot he could make some shirts, designer shirts, sports shirts. And, suggested a name on the label and asked Elliot what name he would put on the shirt labels.

Elliot: zzz“Elliot shirts.”

Soma asked if we saw the news where a man who was posing as his elderly mother, collecting her social security when she had died. Then, he got caught.

Elliot: zzzNo, it is never smart to lie.

Soma asked Elliot what he wanted to talk about.

Elliot:zzzI hope to find how to be a psychologist.

(can’t remember what Soma said)

Elliot:zzz It is good to understand others.

Soma asked Elliot what kind of people he didn’t like.

Elliot: zzzThey can be totally indifferent.
zzzzzzzzzPretend to be bored with the world.
zzzzzzzzzI am looking forward to group.

c

GROUP

Soma: zzWhat topic?

Elliot:zz I want to talk about news.

Matt: zzIt is nasty in Iran.

Hank: zzI am not into news.

Lainey zz(her first time at group): It is interesting to be here.

Elliot: zzI am hoping to discuss something.

Matt: zzLet Laney choose.

Hank: zzInside my mind, I have a bird.

Lainey: zzI want to talk about happiness.

Elliot: zzHappiness is mostly science.

Soma says that yes, happiness is about chemicals in your brain.

Matt: zzI never see happiness within.

Hank: zzThe bird in my mind is happiness.

Soma:zz That’s a metaphor.

Lainey: zzI am happy now.

Elliot: zzIt is not bad to see it objectively.

Matt: zzI think happiness as distraction.

Hank:zz I see a story as happiness.

Lainey: What must I tell?

Soma says to Lainey that she does not have to compete with these guys. She should just say whatever she wants to say. Then Soma asks Elliot for a new topic.

Elliot:zz Sorrow.

Matt: zzSorrow is good to be in.

Hank: zzI don’t mind little sorrow.

Lainey: zzIt is hard to tell when I feel sad.

Elliot:zz I find sorrow in others interesting.

Matt: zzIt is good to be fussed around.

Hank: zzI have to try and be sad.

Lainey: zzCan’t tell difference between stress and sorrow.

Elliot: zzI am very scientific in my observation.

Soma: zzNew topic.

Matt: zzLet Lainey start.

Soma: zzAre you sure?

Matt:zz Yes.

Soma: zzHank, it’s your turn to start a topic.

Hank: zzDon’t have a topic.

Lainey: zzIt is too funny to sit here.

Elliot: zzI think you are enjoying it.

Matt: zzDo you email, Lainey?

Hank: zzI can’t email yet.

Lainey:zz I have no email.

Elliot: zzIt feels good to come here.

Matt: zzI am local.

Hank: zzYou can hang out with me. I go bowling.

Lainey: zzI go bowling sometimes.

Elliot: zzIt is cool to go together.

G’s talk